Key takeaways from the executive presence workshop:
1. For every one, their name is the most powerful word in the universe. Hence, we should try and address people by their names more frequently. Eg. "Thank you Sanya " as opposed to just a plain "Thanks".
2. We are in the business of building trust and relationships. Which requires effective communication. The biggest conversation killers are the following words:
A. "No"
B. "But"
We can try to replace a "no" with "yes and" during conversations. Basically start with a yes but use the" and" to say that we shouldn't be doing that thing immediately.
Similarly when using "but", try to use the syntax of (negative clause) + but+( positive clause).
Eg." I cannot hire you at the moment but you were really impressive in the interview.", " our internal constraints prevent us from taking this mandate but you have built a very impressive company." Try saying the above sentences in reverse order and you can feel the difference.
3. Life is a series of transactions. To get something, we need to be clear about what we are willing to offer in the trade. Successful leaders make their offer upfront. Eg. "We will offer you a meritocratic, politics free and high growth environment, hence come join us."
4. All of us really want to be treated by others as a "VIP". So why shouldn't we try and treat everyone around us like a VIP. That should help build warmth and a connection.
5. Use eye contact and your eye brows effectively. Direct eye contact is important for connecting. Also when removing eye contact, in order to focus on a different person/ speaker, then do so slowly. Almost appear reluctant to break eye contact with the first person. Makes people feel that they are important to you.
6. All relationships- personal or professional follow an "AIM" cycle. Attention, Interest and Maintenance ". First someone gets your attention, then you build a joint interest and then the relationship moves into maintenance mode. Its important to recognize that AIM is not a linear model but is a cycle. Relationships in maintenance mode needs to be moved back into Attention mode, else they will wither. Eg. Give your spouse and children the attention that they deserve and not leave things in the low touch maintenance mode.
7. Transition pauses are very important. These are nothing but the pauses between a change of state. Eg. Someone should stop speaking before we jump in to say something. While negotiating, pauses can strategically increase anxiety of the opponent and can induce them to give up their position etc. Waiting for others to stop speaking, before we speak will help us listen better.
8. Be alert and focus on the details. Colour of people's eyes, their watch, socks etc. It can give us clues to further our conversation and to build connections.
9. Taking a break or allocating "me" time can enhance your productivity and efficiency. Eg. Closing one's eyes and just focusing on one's breathing for 5 minutes. Taking a power nap. A walk post lunch etc. The key elements to focus on are silence, stillness and solitude depending on one's preference. Eg. Taking a quiet morning walk addresses silence and solitude but not stillness. All three together are not necessary.
10. When meeting someone after a long time, a common problem is in remembering the other person's name. Two hacks:
A. Introduce yourself by name first. Eg. "Hi, I am Amal from Avendus. We have met in the past." It could prompt the other to do so.
B. Take a judicious call, whether you want to be transparent and tell the other person that their name is slipping your mind. Eg. "Sorry, I am just blanking out at the moment, and your name is just eluding me." Make them know, that the problem is at your end. But if you believe your honest confession would not be well received, by the other, then try to fake recognition, while seeking clues about their identity. Eg. If I meet Deepak Parekh at an airport, i cannot possibly tell him that i have forgotten his name!
Think about these points and let me know, if you want me to elaborate on anything.
11. Description of executive "presence"
A. It's a learned behaviour. People are not born with charisma.
B. One can switch it on/off. The objective should be to keep it on, for as long as possible, during the day. Taking a break, power nap etc. during the day, allows us to prolong it.
C. Executive presence allows us to influence people.
12. To influence people, one needs to demonstrate a combination of the following :
A. Focus/Attention : helps improve likability
B. Power : helps build credibility
C. Warmth : helps build trust
13. One needs to get comfortable with silence. No need to rush in with an answer/rebuttal/suggestion all the time. Strategic pauses and momentary silence can help in effective negotiation as well.
14. Listening and observing go hand in hand.
15. Make it a point to shake hands with everyone around.
16. The handshake should be firm with hands comfortably extended forward. No sudden hand movements. Shake hands long enough for you to at least note the colour of the eyes of the other person. You can ofcourse hold on to the other's hand, a bit longer, till the pleasantries are over.
17. Remember that :
A. People like people, who like them and;
B. People like people, who are like them
18. People get a lot of random thoughts in their mind during the day. 80% of the thoughts are negative and give rise to self doubt. Negative thoughts are so common that, according to some study , a 2% increase in positive thoughts is all that it takes to move a person into a thought leader category !
19. Good leaders focus on moving their mind from being an inner critic to an inner coach by employing means like meditation, positive thinking, positive actions, espousing social projects etc.
20. At leadership level, it's always mindset over skillset.
21. The tools to project power are :
A. Occupy more physical space. Erect spine, horizontally extended arms and open shoulders, etc.
B. Stare !
C. Silence !
22. Warmth in a relationship is the gatekeeper and warmth is also the game changer.
23. We judge ourselves by our intentions, while we judge others by their actions. However, to be a good leader, we should judge ourselves by our actions and judge others by their intentions. Will immediately build trust.
24. Scan your body posture every 10 minutes. No slouching.
25. Don't hold back on giving compliments to family/colleagues/clients. Everyone craves for compliments.
26. The summary is to focus on the following "QUESTION"
A. Ask Questions
B. Focus on "U"
C. Make Eye contact
D. Smile
E. Touch
F. Show Interest in others
G. Observe
H. Take people's Name
1. For every one, their name is the most powerful word in the universe. Hence, we should try and address people by their names more frequently. Eg. "Thank you Sanya " as opposed to just a plain "Thanks".
2. We are in the business of building trust and relationships. Which requires effective communication. The biggest conversation killers are the following words:
A. "No"
B. "But"
We can try to replace a "no" with "yes and" during conversations. Basically start with a yes but use the" and" to say that we shouldn't be doing that thing immediately.
Similarly when using "but", try to use the syntax of (negative clause) + but+( positive clause).
Eg." I cannot hire you at the moment but you were really impressive in the interview.", " our internal constraints prevent us from taking this mandate but you have built a very impressive company." Try saying the above sentences in reverse order and you can feel the difference.
3. Life is a series of transactions. To get something, we need to be clear about what we are willing to offer in the trade. Successful leaders make their offer upfront. Eg. "We will offer you a meritocratic, politics free and high growth environment, hence come join us."
4. All of us really want to be treated by others as a "VIP". So why shouldn't we try and treat everyone around us like a VIP. That should help build warmth and a connection.
5. Use eye contact and your eye brows effectively. Direct eye contact is important for connecting. Also when removing eye contact, in order to focus on a different person/ speaker, then do so slowly. Almost appear reluctant to break eye contact with the first person. Makes people feel that they are important to you.
6. All relationships- personal or professional follow an "AIM" cycle. Attention, Interest and Maintenance ". First someone gets your attention, then you build a joint interest and then the relationship moves into maintenance mode. Its important to recognize that AIM is not a linear model but is a cycle. Relationships in maintenance mode needs to be moved back into Attention mode, else they will wither. Eg. Give your spouse and children the attention that they deserve and not leave things in the low touch maintenance mode.
7. Transition pauses are very important. These are nothing but the pauses between a change of state. Eg. Someone should stop speaking before we jump in to say something. While negotiating, pauses can strategically increase anxiety of the opponent and can induce them to give up their position etc. Waiting for others to stop speaking, before we speak will help us listen better.
8. Be alert and focus on the details. Colour of people's eyes, their watch, socks etc. It can give us clues to further our conversation and to build connections.
9. Taking a break or allocating "me" time can enhance your productivity and efficiency. Eg. Closing one's eyes and just focusing on one's breathing for 5 minutes. Taking a power nap. A walk post lunch etc. The key elements to focus on are silence, stillness and solitude depending on one's preference. Eg. Taking a quiet morning walk addresses silence and solitude but not stillness. All three together are not necessary.
10. When meeting someone after a long time, a common problem is in remembering the other person's name. Two hacks:
A. Introduce yourself by name first. Eg. "Hi, I am Amal from Avendus. We have met in the past." It could prompt the other to do so.
B. Take a judicious call, whether you want to be transparent and tell the other person that their name is slipping your mind. Eg. "Sorry, I am just blanking out at the moment, and your name is just eluding me." Make them know, that the problem is at your end. But if you believe your honest confession would not be well received, by the other, then try to fake recognition, while seeking clues about their identity. Eg. If I meet Deepak Parekh at an airport, i cannot possibly tell him that i have forgotten his name!
Think about these points and let me know, if you want me to elaborate on anything.
11. Description of executive "presence"
A. It's a learned behaviour. People are not born with charisma.
B. One can switch it on/off. The objective should be to keep it on, for as long as possible, during the day. Taking a break, power nap etc. during the day, allows us to prolong it.
C. Executive presence allows us to influence people.
12. To influence people, one needs to demonstrate a combination of the following :
A. Focus/Attention : helps improve likability
B. Power : helps build credibility
C. Warmth : helps build trust
13. One needs to get comfortable with silence. No need to rush in with an answer/rebuttal/suggestion all the time. Strategic pauses and momentary silence can help in effective negotiation as well.
14. Listening and observing go hand in hand.
15. Make it a point to shake hands with everyone around.
16. The handshake should be firm with hands comfortably extended forward. No sudden hand movements. Shake hands long enough for you to at least note the colour of the eyes of the other person. You can ofcourse hold on to the other's hand, a bit longer, till the pleasantries are over.
17. Remember that :
A. People like people, who like them and;
B. People like people, who are like them
18. People get a lot of random thoughts in their mind during the day. 80% of the thoughts are negative and give rise to self doubt. Negative thoughts are so common that, according to some study , a 2% increase in positive thoughts is all that it takes to move a person into a thought leader category !
19. Good leaders focus on moving their mind from being an inner critic to an inner coach by employing means like meditation, positive thinking, positive actions, espousing social projects etc.
20. At leadership level, it's always mindset over skillset.
21. The tools to project power are :
A. Occupy more physical space. Erect spine, horizontally extended arms and open shoulders, etc.
B. Stare !
C. Silence !
22. Warmth in a relationship is the gatekeeper and warmth is also the game changer.
23. We judge ourselves by our intentions, while we judge others by their actions. However, to be a good leader, we should judge ourselves by our actions and judge others by their intentions. Will immediately build trust.
24. Scan your body posture every 10 minutes. No slouching.
25. Don't hold back on giving compliments to family/colleagues/clients. Everyone craves for compliments.
26. The summary is to focus on the following "QUESTION"
A. Ask Questions
B. Focus on "U"
C. Make Eye contact
D. Smile
E. Touch
F. Show Interest in others
G. Observe
H. Take people's Name
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